Who Wants Cake?

It’s early morning, the day after my birthday. I have the day off from brunch to go see the Lady’s first ballet recital, and I so wanted to sleep in but my body is too used to being awake right now. But that’s okay. I’m going to bake a batch of muffins and have a cup of tea. I’m 42.
Yesterday was a fantastic day. I spent the morning lounging with the Babe after the Hub left to work the day shift and the Lady was off to school. I actually made a batch of muffins yesterday for my dad, my parents are in town visiting and he likes to have muffins for breakfast. After that, I lazily sat around, watched some tv and cuddled with my girl.
It was a rainy grey day, and I was hoping for it to stop long enough for me to go out and do a little shopping. After dropping off the Babe down the hall at my brother’s place to hang with my parents I ventured out anyways.
I headed down to my favourite discount bookstore to hunt for some cookbook bargains, but sadly the place was about to go under renovations so the selection wasn’t as good as usual. Oh well. I continued on, ended up buying a really soft comfy black shirt and a turquoise pair of sunglasses.
Then I was feeling some pangs of hunger, and decided to surprise the Hub at work and have a late lunch. I can’t remember the last time I ate by myself, it was nice. I had a delicious beef carpaccio with arugula and shaved parmesan as I dipped their amazing house made bread in olive oil. That was followed by a lovely herbal tea and jam filled biscotti, so good. The Hub took care of everything for me and then I headed to one of the best bookstores in town that was just down the street to buy a cookbook. I found one that I’ve wanted for a while then finally went home.
My mom had prepared my favourite meal for dinner, a Filipino dish called sinigang, pork ribs simmered in a sour tamarind broth with bok choy, served with rice of course. I swear I could eat that every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it! I ate to the point of being uncomfortably full, but still managed to fit in a slice of chocolate birthday cake and vanilla ice cream.
After dinner we sent the Lady over to my brother’s to have a sleepover with her cousin, she was pretty excited about it. I put the Babe to bed and settled in with the Hub and a cup of tea. He rubbed my feet as I drifted off on the couch. It was a really good birthday.

Two years ago I started this teeny tiny blog. I’m not really sure how I feel about it, to be honest, because I’m so tired right now that I can barely think straight.
I know that two years ago I didn’t feel like this, my mind seems to be racing all the time, trying to balance life, work, family, myself. I know I’ve said this a lot lately, but overwhelmed just scratches the surface as to what is whirling around in my crowded brain. When did I become this person? I don’t know me anymore.
I’m doing and saying things that are foreign to me, worrying about things way too much, and being so hard on myself all the way along. My emotions are either on the verge of bursting out of me in anger or frustration, or I bury them and say nothing. There are moments of joy too, and I try to be present for those the most. A sweet moment with the girls, a hug with the Hub, these small things become huge when I’m in my head too much.
Sorry, this probably isn’t the best way to celebrate the last two years, but I guess it’s a reflection of what my blog is and has become, my place to write and figure things out, tell my story and clear the clutter of thoughts in my mind.
Thank you to any of you that do read this, and especially for the support and love that you share with me. It means more than you know.
xoxo

Feeling overwhelmed and have so much to do. My parents arrive for a visit in a couple weeks and this place is not ready at all. We’ve been here for almost two years and it still needs so much work. Thankfully I love living here so it’s not all bad.

Every day I think about eating Paleo, but it’s a small debate in my mind because a) I love baking with real flour because it tastes the best and b) I love cooking with panko bread crumbs.

I’ve tried baking and cooking with gluten free flour, and the results are ok, but I realize when it comes to baking, I’m a purist. I’m still trying to find a happy medium with Paleo and gluten free baking, but my heart belongs to good ol’ fashioned all purpose flour. My sweet tooth is a hard habit to break still.

For the last few weeks I have been making haddock and crab cakes that the whole family loves! I tried once to make them without panko to make them Paleo, but they were just not as good. Sometimes I serve them with steamed rice and rapini sauteed with garlic, another time with a delicious broccoli soup with coconut milk (Paleo!) and a simple salad. And they are surprisingly filling too. I’m in a recipe sharing kinda mood so here we go…

Haddock and Crab Cakes

1 lb haddock fillets, fresh or frozen

2 cups crab meat, fresh or canned

2 small carrots or 1 medium sized, peeled and grated

1 medium sized zucchini, grated

3-4 tablespoons mayonnaise

2 tablespoons panko bread crumbs, plus a couple cups for coating the cakes

a handful of cilantro, washed and chopped

juice of half a lemon

Olive oil for frying

Preheat oven to 350F. Season the haddock with salt and pepper, bake them until opaque and flaky, about 15-20 minutes. If I’m really in a pinch I have baked them frozen, adjust the baking time as needed.

While the haddock bakes, in a large mixing bowl combine the rest of the ingredients. The mix should not be too wet, but clump together slightly when pressed in your hands. If it is too wet add more panko.

Pour a couple of cups of panko into a medium sized bowl, season and set aside.

Take the haddock out of the oven and when it’s cool enough to touch, break it apart with your hands and add to the rest of the mix.

Heat a large frying pan over medium heat. Add enough olive oil to cover the bottom of the pan. Form the seafood mix into small cakes, place into the bowl of panko and lightly bread, put into the pan. Continue until the pan is full, but don’t crowd, I usually do it in two batches. Fry until golden brown, about 3-4 minutes. Resist the urge to flip them too soon or they may fall apart. Flip and fry the other side. Transfer to a baking sheet and finish frying the rest of the cakes. Once all the cakes are done, put them in the oven for 10 minutes. Serve right away.

These can be made a day ahead, simply cover with plastic wrap in a single layer and fry when you need them. I like to serve these with a cilantro lime dressing, which is a handful of cilantro, the juice of one lime, about 1/4 cup of olive oil, one diced shallot, a drizzle of honey, salt and pepper. Buzz it all in a blender, done.

Okay, enough procrastinating, for now.

The Hub and I celebrated seven years of being married this past Monday, it was a lovely day. I started the day by looking at our wedding album, remembering that day, it felt like just yesterday but so long ago at the same time. So much has happened since then. Those pictures make me cry every time.

I made us a breakfast of sweet potato hash, sautéed mushrooms and over easy eggs with hot sauce. It was nice to be leisurely, it’s a luxury these days when we have so many things to do. Having time to hang out and have a conversation with little interruption was much needed and relaxing.

After we picked up the Lady from school we headed to the Hub’s work because they were having a drink competition among the bar staff to see who could do a drink order the fastest, for fun. We also got to order a pizza, a simple margherita for the kids and my favourite salad-arugula with tuna, green beans, potatoes, olives, hard boiled eggs and anchovies. I could (and probably should) eat that every day, it’s light and refreshing. We also ran into some friends that we don’t see often so we enjoyed seeing them and catching up.

Then the Hub asked what I wanted to do for dinner, that I could choose whatever I wanted, so we went and got cheeseburgers and fries, yum yum yum! It was fun to indulge and have other people do the cooking. That is always a good gift for me.

This coming Saturday marks fourteen years of the Hub and I being together, I still can’t believe it. We learn and grow with each passing day, it’s awesome.